PROFILE: Simon Goddek, FAFO Award Winner
This Man Genuinely Believes a Vaccinated Person Gave Him Heart Damage
Ladies and germs, it’s nice to have some good news for once to share: We got ‘em. In truth, he got himself.
Simon Goddek is a Sao Paulo based “scientist” who claims to be a “Doctor” with a PHD in Biotechnology and is a notorious pro-COVID social media troll, previously employed by SINTEF, an independent research organization based in Norway.
Simon has dedicated years preaching to a large audience absolute fiction about Sars-CoV-19, the many harms this virus causes, and about the supposed ineffectiveness of PPE to prevent infections. Simon’s Twitter profile is branded with “if you can’t question it, don’t call it science” - which is ironic, because he has absolutely zero relevant medical expertise in the fields of PPE engineering, infectious diseases, an actual medical field, or anything relevant to the ongoing COVID pandemic. The answers to his “questions” are widely & publicly available - he simply decided to reject reality for his own delusional ideals of being a heroic protagonist standing against imagined injustice.
In 2021, Simon Goddek previously had his Twitter account banned for these absolutely ludicrous statements, before being reinstated by rightoid billionaire Elon Musk:
Simon’s field of expertise is… aquaponics. The science of growing plants underwater. Somehow, this makes Goddek an ultimate authority on all things COVID, and frequently incites harassment against actual, working medical doctors and experts. But something strange happened last February 23rd, and Simon made a bold, obscene claim with zero evidence to back it up:
For a man who loves to declare how much he doesn’t “live in fear,” Simon is spreading a completely unfounded and ludicrous conspiracy theory to incite fear in his unmasked & unvaccinated, pro-viral and largely astroturfed follower base - that the vaccinated people are killing them via “vaccine shedding.” That vascular disease caused by a totally harmless airborne virus with a global bodycount in the millions? Totally made up!
It has long been known, since even 2021, that COVID can cause myocarditis - an inflammation of the heart that may leave scarring. Of course, anti-vaxx rightoid loons like Simon Goddek argued that it was the COVID vaccine, not the virus, which was doing this. This is, of course, ridiculous. You can read a decent rundown of the topic on Science Based Medicine, here.
Let’s give Simon credit - he is a true believer in what he says. His newfound myocarditis was likely caused by the COVID he was almost certainly infected with multiple times now, as the virus infected his heart and caused lasting, possibly permanent damage. Long COVID, even. What does Simon think about Long COVID, a condition afflicting many countless millions of people worldwide?
Ah. Simon’s not only a believer that COVID induced disability is all made up - because it would mean that he’s wasted years of his life lying to people that COVID is just a harmless little bug - he’s also a nakedly transphobic bigot - painting the newly disabled as “crazies” to be harassed and driven into silence. He was so confident that this was all fiction, that when it inevitably happened to him due to his own uneducated hubris, Simon immediately painted blame at a vaccinated friend, and launched a new conspiracy theory.
Facing the consequences of his own actions, Simon made a choice. Instead of having an epiphany and accepting that everything he had declared about COVID since 2020 was completely false, Simon decided to double down on his social media brand and gin up a new fiction to lay atop all the other fictions he’s professed - displaying a crippling inability to answer the questions of the science he fucked around with and is now finding out the hard way. Simon simply decided instead to write even more elaborate fiction, instead of owning up to the self-inflicted harm of his actions.
Simon Goddek quickly found a spotlight on him as he professed this incredibly pathetic and deranged conspiracy theory - making him the subject of mockery and ridicule from many medical professionals and experts, some of whom actually treated COVID-19 patients instead of growing underwater plants. Inevitably, these claims made their way to Simon’s employer, and what followed? Well, on February 24th, Simon declared thus:
Luckily, poor Simon quickly finds a savior:
Ah yes, rightoid billionaire pervert Jeffrey Tucker, who believes 14 year old girls don’t need a public education - they need a Hooters shift and a pack of Virginia Slims! - is here to save Simon Goddek from his own self-induced professional implosion! Yes, even the far right can show some charity to victims of Long COVID. Funny how so many of the pro-viral trails of bullshit dribble back to this pitiful loser.
Simon once declared that airborne PPE was a “symbol” of “submission.” Now, Simon is not only submissive to a deadly and disabling virus, but also to the whims and agenda of a deranged rightoid billionaire. How pathetic.
On February 27th, Simon doubled down on his views, now jobless and heart damaged by his repeated COVID infections:
Declaring that you believe climate change is “fake news,” when you work in the field of growing plants… means you are scientifically illiterate, Simon, and fundamentally unemployable - a liability to any team that would only be an obstacle to productivity. Knowing this, Simon starts begging for donations from his followers, starting a Patreon, and going full rightoid grifter, after destroying their own professional reputation and career.
Alas, here’s your problem Simon: there’s countless plague rat quacks who have and will come and go, quickly forgotten. Eventually, billionaire Jeffrey will no longer have any use for you, and you’ll be dropped like a rock. After publicly disgracing your family name and destroying your professional reputation, you’ll be unable to continue a career in aquaponics or scientific research - the endless public record of your many statements, from bigotry to outright science denial, including claiming that climate change and virology are made-up scientific fields, means you’re not long for this world Simon. In a place like Sao Paolo, what’s to protect you if one of the victims of your constant falsehoods decide to take retribution against you? You already have a damaged heart and are now at greater risk of life-threatening complications including strokes - so you won’t be running far, Simon. Good luck!
So obsessed to see himself as the Protagonist of Life, Simon reduced himself to an object to inevitably be disposed of - destroying the years he spent building a career, and the efforts of his parents to support him in his original career aspirations. Simon Goddek will one day inevitably be forced to realize that these were the years he damned himself - as these GriftBux will not last forever.
Congratulations, Simon Goddek - you’re the first winner of the Pandemic Accountability Index’s F.A.F.O. Award! Even better, you’re going to be spending the rest of your life finding out!
All that Simon has left now - is inciting hate and harassment against actual medical experts and professionals. Instead of doing actual science in aquaponics, Simon does nothing but bullshit on Twitter all day, hoping his rightoid followers carry out violence against his targets:
What will be exciting, however, is watching Simon be laughed out of court for being an unscientific and deranged sicko unfit for any professional workplace.
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APPENDIX: Just a few of Simon Goddek’s many public statements
If you’re a potential employer looking to hire Simon Goddek, this is the sort of nonsense he posted on social media. This is a fundamentally unserious, anti-scientific, and utterly deranged sicko that has no place in any professional workplace. Hell, he’s not even qualified to pump gas.
A pathetic excuse for a man, who has openly declared himself too childish and petty, fully committed to far-right conspiracy theories, rendering himself utterly unfit for any professional workplace. Anyone hiring Simon Goddek is only destroying their own legitimacy and sabotaging their own company’s operations. You have been warned.
If you’re Simon’s parents, I’m so sorry that you raised such an embarrassment. Hopefully you can convince this child to come home and rethink his life, before something horrific happens.